How do you define happiness? How do we obtain happiness? Once we have achieved happiness, how do we hold on to it? Those are all really good questions, and I think the best way to address them is to talk about things I absolutely know will NOT bring you happiness.
The first thing that I can tell you will not bring you happiness is a relationship. Another person cannot bring you happiness. I know that God intends for people not be alone, and a good, loving relationship is meant to enhance our lives. That being said, we can't rely on someone else to bring us happiness.
I know as a woman, I've had some "interesting" relationships. Ladies, let me tell ya, if a man tells you he will treat you like a queen, believe him. Unfortunately, that queen will probably turn out to be Anne Boleyn, and you'll end up losing your head figuratively, not literally, of course. I can tell you that's the truth from my own personal experience.
Never put your quest for happiness in another person's hands. It's YOUR happiness, and you deserve what's right for you. I think we've all experienced enough in life to know that people will always let you down, yes, even sometimes the one we love the most. I truly believe there is someone for everybody, yes, even you.
The next thing I know, money will never make you happy. Now, before I get a ration of shit for this, I understand that money is essential for living. My grandfather was an immigrant who came to Ellis Island with literally the clothes on his back and not much else. As a little girl, I used to hear him tell me how he raised pigs and sold them to buy his passage to America. He was a barber, extremely hardworking, never had a credit card, always lived well, but lived within his means.
My mother worked for General Motors for 30 years. She was a small woman, my height, 5 feet tall, and she worked on the assembly line, lifting 25-pound radiators all day. She never missed a day of work except for scheduled vacations. I grew up understanding the importance of work, working for what you had. We need money to live- duh!
My husband and I never had a lot of money. We always had enough to get by, to do a few things we liked and wanted, but we were never rich. But oh my goodness, we always had a ton of experiences. When he got sick, he was approved for military disability. I'll never forget the day when his disability was approved. It was New Year's Day of 2023. He was in bed, and I went into the bedroom and excitedly told him, "Honey, your disability was approved." He looked at me, chuckled ironically, and said, "Isn't that just like life? We finally have a little bit of a cushion, and I won't be alive to enjoy it." How right he was. When something bad happens to you, money won't save you, and you can't take it with you, so don't be a slave to money. If you wanna do something - DO IT!
The next thing that I know for certain won't bring you happiness is "stuff". Let's not get it twisted, I like what I like, you know, my "stuff." I am a stickler for color coordination with my clothing, shoes, and accessories. But after my husband died and I had all of his "stuff "to contend with, I realized that "stuff" really weighs you down. I have always been somewhat of a collector, but I soon came to realize that as much as I like my "stuff" I don't NEED my "stuff". I can be perfectly happy without any of it, and even if I lost any of it, it was ALL replaceable. That is what true liberation is all about. As you get older, you begin to realize what matters and what is just so much noise in your head. Ladies and gentlemen "stuff" will never make you happy.
So how does a slightly cooky 57-year-old woman define happiness? Easy, let me tell you. Happiness is when you get up in the morning, and you realize how lucky you are. Lucky that you have a new day to get your act together and improve yourself. Happiness is a heart full of gratitude for everything you have, good and bad. Happiness is knowing there is a plan for your life that God put into motion before you were even born. The bible says God even knows the number of hairs on your head, that's pretty amazing to think of. Happiness is looking in a mirror and liking what you see, and looking within and liking that even more. I will never stop seeking happiness and holding on to it because that is how it's meant to be.