May I Have A Wurd Please

My famous Banana Surprise Muffins with Buttermilk Syrup

The old saying that a negative attitude will never give you a positive life is 100% correct. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it's that no matter what, you have to look for the positive in any situation. I believe that words have power. Believing that things will be a certain way gives that situation power. I have several positive affirmations that I say out loud to myself every day. Even Snoop Dog knows the power of Affirmations. Have you ever listened to the song he wrote for his Grandkids? It's called Affirmations, and I was never a musical Snoop fan, but the guy has a good heart, and he's on to something with that song, and that's something I can get behind. One positive thought or word to someone can change the trajectory of the day.

Growing up, I was EXTREMELY shy. When I say 'shy,' I mean couldn't even make eye contact with someone. My brother and I were the exact definition of children being seen but never heard. We would go out with my mother or my grandparents, and people would ask, "What do you do to your kids to make them so quiet?" Truthfully, they didn't do anything to us. I never remember being spanked or scolded. We were just quiet and respectful kids.

I have always felt that it's not the big grand gestures in life that matter. Not at all. It's the little things that bring a smile to someone's face simply because they know you were thinking of them, and that means everything. I think, after these last few years, I really have come to realize that one of the things I have missed the most from being married is having someone who was proud of me. Proud of my spunk, my humor, my determination, and my love. I've been proud of myself for sure, but it's just different when someone you care about appreciates all that you are and everything you do. It should be easy to find, but you would be surprised.

Chuck Norris passed away this week, and I saw a video he posted on March 10th. In the video, he said, "I don't get older. I level up." If he wasn't already an icon before that statement, he sure as hell is after it.  In our lives, we should not worry so much about striving for perfection. I've said it before, and I mean it. Perfection is unattainable. Look at the number of people who turn to plastic surgery rather than focusing on just being the best version of ourselves possible. I have nothing against plastic surgery, but most people get started and then don't stop with it. I can help you save a few dollars. Learn to embrace every imperfection you have because that is truly what makes you uniquely you. Easier said than done, right? YUP!

I have never been a huge TV watcher, but my husband certainly was. We usually didn't align on channel selection. The only time we made an exception was for anything music-related. It could be a concert, music documentary, or interview. With those, we could always find some common ground. We used to love to watch AXIS TV. We could always find something interesting to watch on there. That station is where I was first introduced to "Live from Daryl's House."

If I ever took a deep dive into my heritage, I'm sure it would turn out that I was a mixed bag of a lot of different nationalities. I've always known that I was Italian on my mother's side and Irish on my dad's. Growing up, I never had any interaction with my father or his family. My mom and dad were divorced while she was pregnant with me. I have one biological brother from their union, and we are 11 months apart. This phenomenon is affectionately referred to as being "Irish Twins." Growing up, the dynamic of discussing my father was so surreal. We NEVER talked about him. He was like this mythical figure. The implication was almost one of fear, as if he were this big bad wolf threatening to huff and puff and blow our world apart at any given moment.  We had NO pictures of him. That is, until I found a photo from their wedding day. My parents had a really fancy wedding, too. It was a rainbow wedding, where all the bridesmaids wore different-colored gowns.  In the picture below, you can see my parents in the upper-right corner. That was the extent of my knowledge about my father.

Being in the dating arena, and arena is a GREAT word for it because isn't that where the ancient Romans used to throw people to the lions? Or was that a Coliseum? Dating Coliseum doesn't really make sense, so arena it is. As I was saying, having to date in your 50s is like being marched into an arena where there is nothing but hungry lions, and you, my friends, are the prey. Is it simply because we are old and have more negative experiences? I've been on dates with people who give Samsonite a run for its money in the baggage department. I have had long conversations with folks who have more issues than Sports Illustrated- truth! We're not talking the sexy swimsuit edition type of issues either. It's more like an entire issue devoted to jock itch and athletes foot 🦶 😬. I know that I do not approach dating the same way that someone who is divorced, per se, does. I'm single because my husband died. It's a different dynamic than dating, because a long-term relationship has ended.

I had,  what I guess you would call, an unconventional upbringing. For 1969, that is. My mother and father were divorced while my mother was pregnant with me. I never met my father, at least in life. The first time I ever had contact with him was at his funeral. But that's for another post. My grandparents owned two homes on the same piece of land. They lived in the front house where my grandfather operated his barbershop. My mother, brother, and I lived in the back house.

So if I were ever stranded on a desert island and I could only listen to three bands until I was rescued, I'd be in quite a conundrum. Who would I pick? I have so many bands that I consider my "favorite". I can say with 98.5% certainty that only one would be a definite choice and that is Pink Floyd.The other two would require some deep thought and consideration 🤔

I am currently enrolled in the school of life. I've been showing up every day, rain or shine, and  I hope to one day graduate - fingers crossed. I am pretty sure I will not be valedictorian, though. Don't fret, it's OK, at least I've never had to wear a dunce cap, but even if I did, you know darn well, I will just rock it with a pair of boots and a mini skirt cause that's just who I am.

How do you define happiness? How do we obtain happiness? Once we have achieved happiness, how do we hold on to it? Those are all really good questions, and I think the best way to address them is to talk about things I absolutely know will NOT bring you happiness.