Most people who have followed my previous blogs know that, after my husband passed away, I was blessed to have access to his GI Bill benefits. They allowed me to finish the bachelor’s degree I had started 30 years earlier—before I even had children. I was working full time, and make no mistake: it was HARD. The classes were online, and although I didn’t have to attend in person, it was still daunting. I was definitely the oldest student, and seeing my face on-screen among so many youthful ones was, well, a lot.
When I went in to take my math placement test, I truly felt like the most incompetent person on the planet. I was locked in a room with a computer, a pencil, a few sheets of paper, and my brain cells—not a lot to work with. I took the test, did my best, and walked away feeling as though I had fallen woefully short. I also couldn’t help thinking about all the money my mother had spent on a private school education, much of which I seemed to have retained very little of in the math department. The woman at the desk monitoring the test must have sensed my disappointment, because she did her best to reassure me that everyone feels a certain way after taking that test.
One thing I can say is that I never let anything discourage me for long. I gave myself a moment, then got back on track. I embraced some classes more than others, but along the way I learned the fine art of reinventing yourself—and the joy of accomplishing something you were never quite sure you were capable of.
Since completing that degree, I’ve toyed with the idea of taking things a little further. Does it scare me? Yes. Do I still have GI Bill benefits available? Also yes. Is it time to challenge myself again? I think so! Today, I finalized the classes I’ll be taking online beginning October 26th. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.
When one door closes, another opens. I have been so fortunate in my life to have people who embrace me, my ideas, and my creativity—heck, they have embraced and believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. Certain people—and you know who you are—have encouraged me to spread my wings and challenge myself to do things I wasn’t sure I could ever do, or even felt worthy of doing. There is a distinct spiritual aspect to this new chapter, and I am so excited.
Thank you to the wonderful people who always have my back, support me, understand me, and lift me up. I love you.
