Growing up, I was EXTREMELY shy. When I say 'shy,' I mean couldn't even make eye contact with someone. My brother and I were the exact definition of children being seen but never heard. We would go out with my mother or my grandparents, and people would ask, "What do you do to your kids to make them so quiet?" Truthfully, they didn't do anything to us. I never remember being spanked or scolded. We were just quiet and respectful kids.
It wasn't until I hit my teens that I really started to assert myself and develop a more "robust" personality. I knew that I was quiet. That didn't bother me. What annoyed me a little was when people commented on me being quiet. I began to do what we have to do when faced with life's challenges. I stepped out of my comfort zone, and I got a job as a waitress in a local family-owned restaurant.
You know how some countries require their young people to serve in the military? That's a good idea. We should also require our children to work in a customer service role where their income depends on how they treat people. Much like waitressing.
Life is not the NFL, and we should not teach kids that anything, including money, is guaranteed. There is a lot to be said for an honest day's pay for an honest day's work. When I started waitressing, the personality I had been developing in secret came bursting through. I am 5' tall on a good day, and my personality stood head and shoulders above my physical stature. My sarcasm became the stuff of legends. I was "Flo" without the red beehive and the "Kiss My Grits". I developed schtick with many of my regular customers.
One gentleman used to come in every day. He would drink coffee with milk only. I would see him walk in, pour his coffee, fill a container with milk, and walk over to the counter. I would set everything down in front of him. Then I would put both my hands on the counter, lean forward, and say, "Man, you look so miserable today. What is your problem?" With a straight face, he would answer, "Annette, I don't have problems. I have solutions!"
The first time I ever heard him say that, I laughed so hard that it became a personal mantra. I've never looked back. The good thing is, as you get older, I think it's expected that you will be more outspoken. A guy told me I was a very bold woman. I'm ok with that. I have been through too much to not be authentic, to not be real, to not be bold. I love what Robert Frost said, "Freedom Lies In Being Bold." Step out of your comfort zone. A comfort zone is simply a self-made prison without bars. Don't serve a life sentence for something YOU have complete control over.